Captain Carrot and the Final Ark #1 (of 4)

Writer: Bill Morrison
Artist: Scott Shaw w/ Al Gordon

DC Comics

Captain Carrot and The Zoo Crew return in a 4-issue spoof Countdown tie-in.

Really now, DC? Captain Carrot? Was there really a high demand for this? And even so, did noone bother to proof-read this before it hit the press?

Captain Carrot is a comics parody firmly rooted in the 80s, following the proud tradition of Spider-Ham and the rest of Marvel's own crew of talking animal analogs to their heroes. (Or vice versa, I didn't really even have the inclination to Wiki these guys)

Captain Carrot is Superman analog as a Rabbit, and he's joined by Yankee Poodle, American Eagle, Fastback (a super-fast turtle) ,Pig-Iron and probably some others I forget even after two reads. The new storyline finds the team whoring themselves out -in true washout hero style- during the Sandy Ego Comic-Con, when a new threat attacks, the Salamandroid, an amphibious robot fire monster! It's followed up by silly dumbed-down fighting and some exhausting exposition; Morrison is trying to reconcile the existing Zoo Crew continuity with their recent Teen Titans cameo (where the Zoo Crew suffered through their own Identity Crisis rip-off), not realising he's falling too much into the trap of writing stories for himself only, as I doubt a lot of even the most hardcore fans really care for exact Zoo Crew continuity (never mind there's not a single editorial box directing readers to Teen Titans #30-31 where that story took place)

The funniest part of the comic is actually the cover, containing more gags than any other page of the comic. The rest of the issue simply spreads out that one central Comic-Con gag thin, garnishing it with a few chuckle-worthy Creator animalisations (Quail Simone, Giraffe Johns etc) and a whole lot of juvenile action, plot and jokes. I'd recommend picking it off the rack, chuckling at the cover and putting it back where you found it; instead why don't you spend the issue money hunting down the entire old run off the quarter bin.

The only reason I read through the issue was that I was desperate for some funny panel of the week candidates, and this seemed like the most probable candidate for one. What turned out to be the only close-to-amusing panel involved Goldie Fishman's dead body being lowered into a giant Toilet Bowl for her public funeral, and being flushed down the ocean. You can vote here.

Grade: 3/10

Vote for Panel of the Week 17.10.07

Each week I'll be posting the 3-4 most memorable panels from the week and putting them up for a public week-long vote. The winning panels gets posted on the sidebar and earns boasting privileges over lesser panels...

Last week gassy WW1 Wolverine caught a very narrow win over Joss Whedon's space frolics.

This week is even quieter, with few standout panels. Where has the funny gone?

CoolWebPoll

Panel A

Dinah Lance: Blonde Bimbo (Green Arrow/Black Canary #1)

Panel B

Get it? He's a teen cyborg (Runaways #28)

Panel C

Goldie Fishman's Funeral Service (Captain Carrot and the Final Ark #1)

American Virgin ends

Another great comics bites the dust.

It will of course be missed, although this isn't such shocking news to me, as I explained here

Two things to take from Steve Seagle's 'eulogy' of the title.

1. This reply, epitomizing the heart of the title very succinctly (something i had difficulty doing in my own review)

American Virgin' is an ongoing book, which means it goes on as long as people are into reading about interesting, obtuse, offensive, and just plain out-there sexual practices going on around the globe. It goes on as long as people are intrigued by how a conservative Christian responds to the kind of stimuli he's been sheltered from his whole life. It goes on as long as people are hooked into our road-adventure-revenge story. As long as they are, I have stories to tell about Adam Chamberlain, because it's the balance between oath and temptation that this book is actually examining, and not just sexual temptation.

2. This sneaky critical quote at the top of the page:

“American Virgin is one of the most enjoyable monthly reads from Vertigo. Adam is a very intense and controversial character, and the writer doesn’t waste any chances to really push his beliefs and convictions to the breaking limit.” – Insidepulse.com

from yours trully, and my earlier review of #18.

...and I'm back

What do you mean you didn't know I had left?

Oh, right.

Apologies for the lack of updating, but spent Friday to Sunday at the excellent BICS (Birmingham International Comics Show).

Don't worry you will hear all about it throughout the week, as I start posting links, photos, coverage and hot gossip!

In the meantime, my pillow beckons.