Thursday, May 01, 2008

DC Capsule Reviews Week 15 2008

Short one this week, with only 3 DC titles for review. And they're all three beyond abysmal at 3/10! My wallet thanks you, mr DiDio. Getting right into it


(Paul Dini & Sean McKeever/ Freddie Williams III)

Ugh. Freddie Williams. Sorry, but: no, no, no. And we had such a good few week art-wise with Kollins and freakin' Starlin! No...

After 49 issues the Challengers face Darksei-- no, no they don't. Superman and his Best Pal Jimmy Olse face Darkseid while the regular cast gets thrown about by Black Mary Marvel, now Darkseid's servant. It's all dull until Mary picks up Kyle Rayner's unconscious body and hits Donna with it... repeatedly. Oh, and Jimmy turns into Giant Lizard Jimmy.



(Judd Winnick / Mike Norton & Wayne Faucher)

Help! Help! I'm drowning in slapstick!

Winnick tries to be funny - but, well... he's not.

So, the little gray aliens chasing our couple last issue are revealed to be... americans wearing rubber zip-on masks. The fact the Green Arrow never noticed is apparently comedy gold and milked for 4-5 solid pages. The attackers are then stripped, tied to a chair and interrogated in an.. unusual manner:

Yeah, my sentiments exactly...

So, to get things straight. They tied these guys up and then went out to hire an overweight clown stripper, an elderly playboy bunny and a sheep (along with S&M gear for the latter). This could have worked if this was a parody/satire/meta title like X-Statix or Nextwave or even Giffen's Justice League; But it's not; and it doesn't.

The rest of the issue sees the Arrow family chasing a lead to London, with loads of brit jokes, more Ollie in a fat suit and beard and a confusing fight; confusing, mainly because B;lack Canary and Speedy are both in civies (jeans, hoodie and jacket), they're both using swords, and the only way to tell the blondes apart is Speedy's ponytail.

Mike Norton fills in for Cliff Chiang this month, though the inker makes sure to cover the artistic differences by inking in the same thick brush line style.



(Judd Winnick / Ian Churchill)

'The Fickle Hand' part 2. (No, you haven't missed #0, the first part was a few months back in the Titans East one-shot, although noone mentions it here)

So, Titans #1...also known as the book that stunk so bad it made Countdown look good!

Yes, more Winnick bashing. Grab a chair. The original Titans are featured in a series of solo segments, as each of them is introduced in their respective environments, drop some expository personal narrations, and are each attacked by a different serious huge interesting monster/villain. Meet-narrate-threat-NEXT-meet-narrate-threat-NEXT-meet--- you get the drift. Then they all meet up and discuss how they should join against Trigon.


No, there's no more missing pages. Winnick just skipped all those messy battles, since all the readers really wanted was the exposition leading to the battles and the epilogue. Who needs those boring 'Act Two's, eh? Ironically enough, when the reader does need a bit of exposition on who Trigon is and why he warrants a double-page spread reveal... mum's the word. Oh, dear.

DC's essential mistake in the Titans line is that they're repeating past mistakes, by reverting to the pre-Geoff Johns status quo of the titles. Remember? Back when they used to suck and noone cared? We had Titans for the original group and later additions, and Young Justice for the teen sidekicks. Johns wisely merged the two books together, making them a cohesive family and having a Teen Titans team full of heavy hitters and brand names. 50 issues later, and Teen Titans is only Robin & Wonder Girl with some unknowns, and all the original Titans are forming yet another super-team with no specific reason for existing. Boo.


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