Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Hercporn fanmail

Dear Marvel. As much as I rejoice in the news of the continuation of the overarching Hercules saga by mr Pak and mr Van Lente in a new title with a new #1, and as much as I appreciate the gay overtones in the book's solicitations --

This April prepare for Herc #1 – an explosive new ongoing series from New York Times Best Selling writers Greg Pak & Fred Van Lente and artist Neil Edwards setting Marvel’s baddest bone-breaker loose on a raging one-man beat down of the Marvel Universe’s vicious criminal underground. And he won’t be relying on his fists alone! Armed with the keys to Ares’ abandoned armory, Hercules is ready to unleash three thousand years worth of brawling experience upon his foes while preparing to confront the perils of FEAR ITSELF!
-- I must voice my concerns as per the sudden, and ill-thought-of, surely the product of a momentary lack of good judgement, perhaps following a drinking binge in one of the creator summits or a drunken bar-crawl around San Diego with an assortment of nerds of the heterosexual persuasion, decision to, well... how do I put this...

to clothe him.


I mean, you have a loyal fanbase that has grown accustomed to, nay - I say spoiled by - bare hairy leather-strapped thighs, naked hairy torsos with bulging heroic pecs, ridiculously short manskirts with revealing slits in the front, and a constant barrage of compromising positions that, had they been featuring a female character in similar garb and positioning, would have resulted in an endless storm of menstruation-fueled hate letters from feminist organisations piling up at your doorsteps.

simply put: We want our hercporn back.


signed,

your Mighty Marvel Queers

p.s.
-sigh-

1 comment:

Tom said...

I thought "Chaos War" was supposed to be the finale? Oh well.