Shooter's Legion Causes Fandom-wide Epidemic

So, what did you think of the Shooter's latest Legion issue?





Source: Legion of Super-heroes #40 (DC Comics)
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Alanis Morissette - Moratorium

Alanis' newest released track from her upcoming 'Flavours of Entanglement' album (out in June!)

Moratorium

album sample:



live performance:



Already buying tickets for her Birmingham gig, it's been 4 years since I last saw her live on stage! -geek joy-


I've never been this accountable-less and within
I've never known focuslessness on any form

I've never had this lack of ache for dalliance
To let go and let God in ways I have never even imagined

I declare a moratorium on things relationship
I declare a respite from the toils of liaison
I do need a breather from the flavors of entanglement
I declare a full time out from all things commitment

I've never let my grasp soften fingers like this
I've never been careless otherless like autonomy's twin

I declare a moratorium on things relationship
I declare a respite from the toils of liaison
I do need a breather from the flavors of entanglement
I declare a full time out from all things commitment

Ah to breathe
Stop looking outside
Stop searching in corners of rooms
Not my business or timing
Ahhh

I've never known freedom from intertwining
I start again this time for keeps in my skin I'm residing

I declare a moratorium on things relationship
I declare a respite from the toils of liaison
I do need a breather from the flavors of entanglement
I declare a full time out from all things commitment
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Fraction on X-Men, AIDS, and the 90s

Excerpt from quite possibly the best interview ever:

Interviewer: [...]I got into the X-Men a little later, in the mid-90s.

Fraction: Ooh. That's like getting into sex in the middle of the AIDS epidemic.

Stop. LMAO. Standing ovation. Matt Fraction is THE writer to look out for. Heed my words.

OT: Fraction looks drop-dead yummy gorgeous in his photo shoot, anyone spotted them online? :)

Source: Comic Foundry #2 (THE comics magazine to look out for run out and buy. As in, right now. Go. Fetch.)
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Love-struck

Cupid's arrows have a hurtful sting.

Source: Birds of Prey #116 (DC Comics)

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Rock 'n' Roll Heaven

Source: Simpsons Comics #140 (Bongo Comics)


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Karatema Sutra Kid

Jim Shooter started writing the Legion of Super-heroes comic-book when he was only 14 years old, in 1966, a strict time for censorship.

It would be over 4 decades later that he would finally manage to get back on the book and get all the juvenile sex and body-part jokes out of his system.

Source: Legion of Super-Heroes #40 (DC Comics)

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Out of Context Gayness

Sapphic love in Uncle Scrooge's money vault.

Source: Birds of Prey #116 (DC Comics)

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Trouble Over Tokyo - The Liar

P

Lyrics:


Thanks to my best bud Vasilis for the suggestion through his blog
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Centaur Sex Ed 201

Centaurs are typically half-man half-horse (why this particular one is calling himself 'Minotaur is a matter for a different study, 'Image Comics in the early 90s and the geeks who made them popular').

But what does this mean for the positioning of their genitalia? Front legs (human)? Rear legs (horse)?

Nemesis obviously goes for option A here, although I've always leaned towards B. (Sadly for me, I had contemplated this question before).

How do you weigh on this, dear readers?

Source: Wildstorm Revelations #6 (Wildstorm, DC Comics)

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SVI #4: 'Mirror Mirror on the Wall'

Chapter 4: ‘Mirror Mirror on the Wall’ [link]


“I mean, really, how many of you jokers are running around with the same cheesy moniker?”

Even if the poor sap tried to reply to her I couldn’t make it out, as my Lady Mastermind opened fire from her twin handguns, the noise from the exploding carousel rides drowning out any further witty repartee.

My Lady was in a playful mood. We had chased the ‘famous Mysterio’ into a derelict amusement park. The snow had covered most of the abandoned rides, with only a few dirty faded dwarf replicas, broken-down roller-coasters and rose-red giant tea-cups still visible over the white. I was still unsure why he had dared my mistress into this cat-and-mouse chase, and even more confused with why an illusionist super-villain would dress up in such a gaudy green unitard and put on a fishbowl for a helmet. I felt more at home in my chains and leather gear, but then again, I had grown comfortable into my role as Lady Mastermind’s pet-slash-henchman. And this chase through the twin rollercoaster ruins proves a welcome distraction, just when my Lady Regan was beginning to descent into another reminisce trip over dearly departed ‘daddy’, the original villain Mastermind.

“Mysterio darling, you do realise all this fake mist and cheesy light effects may confuse my pet Dirt here, but they don’t really work on a real telepath illusionist. I can see you clear as day. These high-heels weren’t made for running around in the muck. Stand still and let mommy Regan make you some air holes through that stuffy bowl!”

“Leave me alone you crazy broad! I’m new at this!” Mysterio panicked as he tried to break through the jammed double doors of the House of Mirrors for shelter.

“That’ right, little fish, you only inherited the costume from your father, brother or something equally mundane?” Lady Mastermind had solved her wardrobe problems, now riding me piggy-back, chasing after him, her whip lashing on my back.

“No, no, not like that. I k-k-killed my brother and then I bought—“

“Ah, say no more! Now, siblicide is something I can really get behind! Bravo, fish-lens, you give a merry chase! Faster, pet!”

With my Lady clapping wildly, Mysterio finally pushed through into the condemned mirror-maze. As we followed inside, Lady Mastermind illuminated the way with a floating lantern. The mirrors on the walls were reflecting the light into a long shining chain leading deeper into the maze. Reaching the centre of the maze, we entered a circular mirror room, the doors sliding closed behind us, and the floor fading away to nothingness. There I was, floating in the inside of a giant disco ball dressed like one of the Village People. My Lady didn’t seem as phased, addressing Mysterio – his form more confident now, reflected on the multitude of mirrors lining the inside of the sphere.

“This is more impressive, shine. Even with my mind-powers, I can’t spot the strings here. Still disappointed you wouldn’t come out to play in person, instead of hiding behind your mirrors! Be a man, Klum!”

Mysterio gave off a loud roaring cackle, distorted from his helmet, as he stepped out of one of the mirrors, followed by another and another, seven villains all speaking in unison:

“Whoever said I was Klum. Whoever even said I – excuse me – who ever said ah was even a man... sugah?”

As their helmets were lifted, The Mysterios’ voice became more feminine and familiar, and their accent changed into a distinctive southern drawl. The white fringe on her hair couldn’t have been mistaken; standing before us was Rogue of the X-Men, tearing out of the Mysterio FX suit, with even more of her stepping out of the mirrors. I could feel Lady Mastermind’s anger resonating through the room. Of all the X-Men, she hated this one the most-- to the point of having an illusionary doppelganger of her to belittle and ridicule in her mansion home, the muted maid ‘Jenny Sugah’. I never heard the full story, but I knew Rogue was one of the X-Men responsible for putting her in a coma in her first mission against them.

“Surprised, Regan? Ah still retained some of your powers and memories from the last time ah wiped the floor with you. Ah still owe ya for the way you betrayed me, even after all the trust ah showed you, taking you into my team.”

“Trust? You only used me for as long as it suited you, girl. I was a weapon in your arsenal and more fodder for your little power play against Cyclops.”

I remember bits and pieces from talking to the facsimile Jenny in the mansion. Lady M had woken from the coma in the X-Men’s home and Rogue had invited her into the strike force. My Lady stuck around for a few weeks before turning coat and betraying the team to the opposition. She was never big on quiet goodbyes.

“Ah made you an X-man, you ungrateful witch.”

“Oh please, ‘belle’. You told me yourself I was only wearing the X on loan. Can you blame a girl for wanting a more permanent outfit?”

“You could never even keep a steady haircut for more than 2 weeks, Wyngarde. Ah did give you an honest chance.”

“Your boys set that dog on me, clawing my insides out! I didn’t notice your lover boy getting the same treatment. Wasn’t he on the same turncoat team with me and mummy bluest?”

“Ah reckon that’s enough chit chat, Wyngarde.”

“Bring it on, white-locks!”

As Lady Mastermind opened fire to the seven Rogues around her, I could feel myself losing footing, falling into the void, my screams covered by the sound of battle around me.

When I opened my eyes again, I had landed into a clearing. I was... outside? Surveying my surroundings, I recognised the locale: the illusionary Garden of Eden. This is where my Lady had first converted me to her cause. Was this all happening in her mind then? Was there no Mysterio? No Rogue? That southern colloquialism did seem awfully like comic relief. I walked around for what felt like an hour, but couldn’t spot my Lady anywhere. Had she lost? Was that hick coming after me next?

Spotting a familiar path, I walked up to the apple tree. The single fruit was still resting on its branches, untouched. Its sweet smell and taste had burned a hole in my memory. Clouds covered the sky and the light dimmed, while I heard a rustling in the tree branches.

A woman slid down the tree husk, looking so familiar. Mistaking her for my Lady Regan, I moved to touch my head to her feet in subordination. She pushed me away, her voice sounding more reserved and serious:

“I don’t like being touched.”

I could make her out clearly now. She looked a lot like my Lady, but for her hair and her attire. She had long straight auburn hair, dressed in a full-body black military uniform. She carried herself with an air of refrained elegance and cold superiority. She looked as seductive as my Lady, but somehow more effortlessly.

“My Lady Wyngarde?” I whimpered.

“I’m a Wyngarde, alright... but I prefer to carry my father’s legacy from before he sold to corporate greed... My name is Martinique Jason. They call me Mastermind.”

“I-I don’t understand. Where am I? Why do you--?”

“We are in your mind. I saw an opening when my annoying half-sister charged at Rogue. She had left this scenery intact after she was last here. I thought it a fitting analogy as well. Are you familiar with the myth of Lilith?”

“I-I, no. Did you say half-sister?”

“Has Regan never mentioned me then? Does she fancy herself the only Wyngarde daughter? Very appropriate. You see... Lilith as the original woman in the Garden of Eden. She was the first daughter of God... created side by side with Adam... not from his sides, but from the ground. Some even say she was created a whole day earlier. Hence, she fancied herself Adam’s equal... she wouldn’t have any of this subservience nonsense. She was no one’s inferior... and she didn’t like to dominate anyone either. She just wanted to realise her ideals. The first feminist, huh. She chose to run away from the Garden than submit to Daddy’s intentions. There was a chase... the Angels caught up... it’s a story for another time. After Lilith was out of the picture, God erased her from his Bible... he created a new woman from Adam’s side. Eve. She was created to be Adam’s servant and companion. We all know how well that ended up... and who ended up serving whom.

Now... there are a lot of interpretations of Lilith’s story. In a few of them she isn’t Adam’s companion... she’s created to be Samael’s half. And Samael of course is Lucifer... or the snake in the garden. In a lot more stories, she is the snake herself... swooping in to mess up Eve’s cosy arrangement with Adam. Reassert herself as the other daughter of God. Am I being too vague here? Are you following the story?”

“I, yes, I do, sir—Madame.”

“That won’t be necessary. I believe in equal partnership. Mutual exchange. I’m out to reclaim Adam... so to speak.”

“Cooperation with me? I – I don’t even know you. I’m Lady Mastermind’s possession. I’m Dirt.”

“That novelty should have started to wear out by now. I’m called Mastermind... out of respect for my father’s early career. Jason Wyngarde was a revolutionary. A mutant activist... some fools would say ‘terrorist’... He was the first in Magneto’s Brotherhood of Mutants. Before he became infatuated with that ladybird my sister envies so much and left his cause for his personal indulgences. I’ve remained true to his roots. I’m a soldier. I joined the Brotherhood to serve the cause in his place. As an equal this time. While my sister became the Hellfire Club’s lapdog. And then, Mystique’s lowly mole in the team... acting as little more than cannon fodder. At least I was Mystique’s equal. I played her mole in the X-Men and I manipulated them to serve my own purposes. At least I live up to the name Mastermind.”

“You really hate her. But how can she not—“

“We haven’t been formally introduced yet. I’ve advanced my powers in ways she never fathomed. Our father’s legacy is more than mere illusions. I controlled that clumsy Klum, ‘Mysterio’, to lure her in my Murder World with you. Rogue was easy enough to coax... change her behaviour... manipulate her into attacking Regan. Use my illusionary powers to disguise my presence and stack the odds against her. Effectively distract Regan so I could talk to you... undetected. ”

“You did all this... to bring me here?”

“As I said... I have an offer. When you tire of the taste of her leather boots... when you’re done role-playing... I have a position of real power by my side. If you help me get rid of this disgrace to the Mastermind’s legacy.”

With that, she urged the tree branch to come down, and picked the apple from the branch. She offered it to me. Dreadful déjà vu.

“...”

“Don’t answer yet. Chew on this for a while. I’ll be back.”

With that, she disappeared into the ground. The Garden vaporised around me like steam, and I found myself lying amidst a sea of broken glass. Lady Mastermind was standing over me, bruised but smiling. I could spot Rogue’s body further down, cut up pretty badly, unconscious.

“Well, pet, that went rather well! She has seven more years of bad luck to look forward to. I even got this souvenir for your collar.” She quipped, showing me a long tuft of white hair, blood stains covering the roots. “What do you say that, Dirt?”

I bow and kiss her boots. I feel my lips open up from the glass shards. I swallow the blood.


“Thank you my Lady...

I- I love you.”




Round Topic:

Round 4: Nemesis

Topic

Hank: Why do you hate our dad so much anyway?!
The Monarch: I, well... he's my nemesis. That's my thing!

All villains have a goal. Something that in their minds justifies dressing in costume and using their particular gifts for the side of evil. For some, its all about the money. Others have more ambitious goals in mind.

Occassionally, some opposing force will act to hinder this goal. Superheroes are fond of this, as are the more idealistic members of law enforcement and the military. However, one of these groups or individuals will ultimately stand out as the greatest single obstacle to your character's success in implementing his villainous schemes. This force is more than just a thorn in your character's side. This is your character's arch-nemesis.

The power of an Arch is not to be taken lightly. Sure, he may be a fool whom you might crush easily under ideal circumstances, but Arches always have a nasty habbit of winning in the end. The psychological effect upon a villain can be catastrophic. Otherwise brilliant villains with the power to level entire cities might foolishly focus the entirety of their careers upon taking down their Arch, oftentimes leading to personal and financial ruin in the process.

In this round, describe your character's arch-nemesis. You can choose to approach this topic from a number of different angles. Perhaps your character is obsessed, or maybe its the other way around? Does your character view your Arch with contempt, or respect? Does your character see it as a game, or is his Arch just an annoyance that keeps getting in the way of his grand scheme? Is your character's Arch another super-powered individual, a team, or something entirely unexpected?

Keep in mind that your Arch will likely make repeat appearances in later rounds, so it is not advisable at all to kill him in this round. Nor is it particularly advisable to argue that your villain lacks an Arch. It may be possible to invent an entirely new character to fill this role, but it will probably be easier to dig one out from canon instead.

Judging remains the same as before, for this round and the next. Once we are down to ten competitors, we will begin voting off only one player at a time. Until then, judges please nominate two entries for elimination, and we will vote two players off this round.

Round begins: Friday, April 11th, 12 PM, Eastern Standard Time
Round ends: Monday, April 14th, 12 PM, EST



Judges' comments:

coming soon
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DC Capsule Reviews Week 12 2008

Catching up on comics I missed during my Greek holidays. Be patient as we shift through everything -shudder-

BIRDS OF PREY #116

(Sean McKeever / Nicola Scott)

Damn, that was a LOT of girl-on-girl action, even for a 'super-chick' ensemble book. Cheery teen girls, handicapped girls, angry goth girls, lapsed catholic girls, time-travelling girls from the 40s brainwashed into skin-tight lycra and a finned cap. It doesn't matter. They#re here and they're kicking, slapping and pulling each other's hair like there's no tomorrow. Plus, you know, spot-on characterisation, a slowly building plot that pulls my interest and an ever-improving Nicola Scott working wonders.

8/10






BRAVE AND THE BOLD #11

(Mark Waid / Jerry Ordway / Bob Wiacek)

What? George Perez left last issue? As much as Ordway is a great artist, the plot of this book isn't enough to keep me coming back (really, does anyone care who Megistus is? I'm tired of this relentless build-up and teasing). Perez's art was my only draw ion this title, i'll stick around fo the storyline finale next issue and then drop this book like a mob rat on the pier by midnight.

Ok, ok, this issue was actually quite sweet, with Ultraman (the evil Super-man of the reverse Earth-2) showing up at the Daily Planet causing all manners of havoc, having a tussle with Supes, and then both confronting mr Mixyezpitlik, the coherent well-mannered Earth-2 parallel of the famous imp.

Fine. It's a fun read even without Perez. I'm still dropping it next issue though!

What's up with all the alternate Supermen this year? We've got Superman, Superman Prime, Cyborg Superman, Ultraman, Bizarro and Kingdom Come Superman all running around at the same time. Eek.

7/10



CATWOMAN #77

(Will Pfeiffer / David & Alvaro Lopez)

'Waking up On The Wrong Side of the Universe' pt 3

Selina is still trapped in the VR perfect world, while captured in the Salvation Run planet, and this time she's kicking the collective ass (you might notice i love using the phrase 'kick ass') of the Justice League - including Superman, Green Lantern and the Flash (in a semi-believable way, no less). It's sheer fun, but it reeks of fanboy enthusiasm, reading more like over-enthusiasticfan-fiction than an actual DC mag.

6.5/10



DC COUNTDOWN TO FINAL CRISIS #6

(Paul Dini & Adam Beechen / Mike Norton)

-Yawn-

The 'heroes' have taken Karate Kid's deceased and diseased carcass to Cadmus labs on 'some' Earth (I don't even care to remember at this point) and things hit Super Fast Forward as Average Joe Cadmus Lab Tech Buddy Blank narrates the 'epic' of the dreaded Morticoccus virus spreading on this Earth and mucking things up. Nope, still don't care. Even though whole worlds are ending each issue, there's no anchor to attach ourselves to the tragedy at play as all protagonists and villains remain painfully dull and feel unimportant. I really hope the rumours are true and this series doesn't in fact tie into Morrison's Final Crisis (I still have high hopes for that one).

4/10


FABLES #71

(Bill Willingham / Mark Buckingham / Steve Leialoha)

Skullduggery part 1

The title switches gears after the previous epic storyline, with a 2-part spy thriller starring Fabletown's ultra-fashionable espionage guru: Cinderella! Draped in a series of amazing 60s-inspired outfits in black-and-white, Cindy goes Bond-in-heels on a bad of kidnappers in Tierra Del Fuego, trying to rescue the missing Pinocchio. Discussing the issue with Mark Buckingham last weekend in the Athens Comicdom Con (gloat/plug combo +20), I was amazed at the amount of forethought and design work that goes into every page layout and character design. Major brownie points to series editor Shelly Bond for her input in Cindy's outfit designs.

8/10



JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #19

(Alan Burnett / Ed Benes / Sandra Hope)

Pointless Event Tie-In Alert! Made more pointless by the fact that it's not even an actual crossover, just a tease of one for no apparent purpose than to boost sales on a book that sells better than the actual event it ties into.

One step back to explain. The JLA finally sets off to visit the alien prison planet where Checkmate has exiled the world's villains (in the Salvation Run mini-series). Once there, they're under attack by what seems to be the villains, but turns out to be Kanjar-Ro. Bummer. A laughably lame plot device frees the captive heroes who then discover that the villains aren't actually on this planet at all, but have been sent somewhere else by mistake (hey it happens to the best of them, just read Planet Hulk). So, they pack up and head home. Meanwhile, Ed Benes's art is deteriorating more and more with each page, now resembling nothing of the firm goodness that was his Birds of Prey run.

By all means, don't pick up a copy.

2/10



SUPER-FRIENDS #1

(Sholly Fisch / Dario Brizuela)

Hey, I'll review anything! In this case, the first issue of DC's new kid comics. And I do mean 'kid comic' instead of a different tag like 'all-ages' or even 'kid-friendly'. This is so adult-unfriendly I could actually feel some brain-cells devolving as I was turning the pages. Considering the name branding and the cast (alluding to the popular cartoon from a few decades back, only featuring the Jon Stewart Green Lantern for the sake of ethnic diversity), I'd have expected this to be geared just a tad towards old nostalgics (much like Tiny Titans seems to be full of continuity geek in-jokes). I'm not sure kids today would take so kindly to being talked down this shamelessly. This is definitely a kiddie comic made for the 80s kid generation, complete with unsubtle social messages and moral-of-the-month. Couple all this with the saccharine plump character designs and pastel colours and you've got a comic I would be embarrassed to be seen reading even at the age of 5. DC please have a look at what Marvel is doing with their adventures line for some pointers.

2.5/10




SUPERMAN / BATMAN ANNUAL #2

(Joe Kelly / Scott Kolins)

Easily the surprise hit of the month! I never expected any issue of S&B to be even readable, judging from all the past attempts from some usually decent writers. I should always count on these annuals to do what the ongoing series, and make me care...
Joe Kelly simply nails it here. He gets the antithesis between the two characters. Not the obvious surface ones, he gets them on a deeper level. The dichotomy of views, of feelings, of phobias. And he also gets the inner urge that makes these two characters seek each other out. Scott Kolins is an unrecognised gem in DC and the industry in general, producing amazing art with style, and a lot of titles each month, but not managing to get a big break since leaving Flash all those years ago. Here his renditions of Superman and Batman give a nod to the classics in a way similar to what Matt Wagner accomplished in Trinity.
As for the plot, it's a recreation of an odler team-up story (although I'm hazy on the details, but we do get to see Supes adopt the (Super)Nova identity for the first time, before 52) Superman seeks out Batman's help when he loses his powers. Planets juggling, giant meteors, Robin's (super)man-crush, Batman wearing a Superman muscle-suit and the self-help suicide enabler Mr Socrates. All the Silver Age fun quirkiness tampered with well-thought characterisation. Thanks DC!

9/10






ROBIN #172 (Chuck Dixon/David Baldeon)

Robin is gearing up to being a very pleasurable read month in month out. Yay Chuck Dixon. Yay Fredie Williams moving on to other projects. Robin tracks down Violet (the Black Cat to his Spider-man is a more fitting analogy for the dynamic here than the obvious Catwoman/Batman route) inside Maxie Zeus' (think Rama Tut, only Greek) illegal casino. Bullets, togas and lots of flying dollar bills! Plus: Spoiler returns! (oops, spoiler alert :) ). And is it just me, or are all the bat-boys sporting air-gliders this month?

7/10


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Wolver-nanny

There's meta humour, and then there's this. Mr Millar, let me introduce you to the limits of irreverence. I hope you can get along in the future.

Source: Fantastic Four #556 (Marvel Comics)

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Bubs Will Be Bubs

'Nuff Said, really.

Next issue blurb for Wolverine: First Class #2

Source: Wolverine: First Class #1 (Marvel Comics)
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Greek Olives and Cucumber

The stylings of Greek-themed Batman Villain Maxie Zeus.

Source: Robin #172 (DC Comics)
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Ur So Gay

...and you don't even like boys!



Partly devoted to my best friend Tyler. You know it's true!

Source: Katy Perry / Ur So Gay

Update: Katy gets the Royal (as in Queen of Pop) Approval on her track! Check out raving Madonna!
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SVI #3: 'Horrorville'

Chapter 3: “Horrorville”


Serenity.

“America’s Quietest Town”, the signpost proclaimed by the town’s entrance. “Proud Home of the Country’s Largest Thimble Museum”

Yawn.

Population: 2316.

Lady Mastermind walked through the town gates Monday morning with a nasty appetite for destruction.

By Wednesday afternoon the population was down to 1542 and dropping fast.

Setting off for this small blimp of the American suburbia, all I knew was my Lady’s eerily jubilant declaration that she was spending some time away from the messy X-continuity and taking me with her on holidays to try out her new gear.

The gear in question was a futuristic looking bucket helmet she had me dig up from the ruins of that Westchester mansion. I couldn’t understand what need she would have of that piece of scrap, or why she had decided to take me along; after all, for the past 2 months of my servitude to her as ‘Dirt’ I hadn’t been allowed to step outside my cage, let alone drive her across the state to a place right out of an HBO suburban drama.

I took up her bags and set up my cage in our motel room in the centre of town. From the windows I could see Dullsville spreading our around us. The museum, the church, the police station, the market, the bathhouse, the hospital, the video club, the schools, the roller disco, the town theatre and the garage. Not many surprises here. Dreary people leading dreary lives. I hated them when I was a vacant corporate businessman, I hate them even more now that I’ve seen the light thanks to my Lady’s sinfully indulgent form of anarchy. I could somehow already feel at that point that she had plans in motion to shake the people out of their ignorant conformity. I couldn’t have imagined this carnage though, not in a million years.

“Survivor: Suburbia. The Great American Reality Death Trap.”, she called it, with a delicious sneer. She was reclined in bed with that Cerebro contraption on her head, a sadistic technopriestess from a steampunk horror novel, draped in leather and covered in all sorts of cables and wires connecting her to the machine augmenting her mutant abilities to enter men’s minds and cast deadly illusions.

Her voice was heard individually inside the head of every man, woman and child within the town limits.

“Good morning, my lovely. Terribly sorry to interrupt your pathetic conformed existence this way. Consider this your wake up call. You have no time to waste. Your serene conformity has been compromised and your peaceful town will easily become your even more peaceful grave if you don’t make it out of here fast. Trust noone.”

I couldn’t understand what she meant, until she released me from my leash and sent me out to explore the neighbourhood. I could hear screams in every direction, and lifeless mangled bodies had already started to scatter across the city centre. The people of Serenity were running around frantically, killing each other with a manic fury.

It made no sense at the time, until Lady Mastermind allowed me to connect to the people in my proximity and see the surroundings as they did, as I entered the illusions she was casting in each of their minds.

A group of hunters was holed up by the motel’s entrance. They had just shot down a couple of other visitors, and forced the desk clerk to cower behind the reception desk. Only, in their minds, they were defending themselves against a wild pack of bears which had attacked their city and eaten up some of their number. They were only shooting to defend themselves. None of them could even register my presence. Noone in town seemed to be able to sense me. Another illusion trick. I walked towards the reception. As I did, the room changed. The bear carcasses shifted momentarily back to human bodies and then again to… green aliens?!? As far as the motel staff was concerned, they were being invaded by alien shapeshifters. They were trying to escape into the pantry and devise a counter-attack.

It was all starting to make sense, but I had to be sure. I left the motel and perused the town centre, the locale changing every few minutes as different groups of people sprinted past me. Each group of them was immersed in a different horror scenario, perceiving everyone else in Serenity as an invading something or another: ninjas, werewolves, Nazi ghosts, mummies…

The priest was desperately fighting against his constituents; he thought a vampire had turned the entire town overnight; they had just seen their priest reveal himself as the antichrist and declare apocalypse on their idyllic town. He only managed to stake so many with a broken off cross before they overpowered him, severed his head and then turned on each other as their illusions kept shifting to new scenarios.

The hospital staff was busy chopping off their patients heads as well, running through the corridors in groups to survive the zombie epidemic. A surprising number of them were holding camera equipment, recording the experience.

At school, the kids were surviving better against each other, for the first day at least. My Lady seemed to have separated them in groups of 10 or less. One group was hiding in the chemistry lab from a different pack which had put on Scream masks and started chopping off heads with scythes from the prop room. The Screamers themselves thought they had finally quarantined the mutated toxic monsters from the lab explosion and were getting ready to torch the place.

In the gym everyone saw each other as an alien parasite-possessed serial killer. The swimming pool was infested with killer sharks, while ghoul pirates had boarded off at the lake shore, eating up horny teenagers in the surrounding woods. The dinosaur bones in the museum had come to life and were chasing the curator through the corridors. Time had sped up in the police station, the only building seemingly left intact in the massive earthquake; now the starving policemen had to decide which of the guys in detainment to skin and cook first. If they weren’t running from a swarm of African Killer Bees or a murder of demon crows, they would be getting their limbs broken off by possessed bleached kindergarteners. After a few days of taking in the landscape of horror across town, not even the gigantic alien sperm spitroasting anyone who would come near it fazed me.

The way Lady Mastermind’s powers worked, the people didn’t need to kill each other to flat-line; as soon as their minds believed they had been killed, the bodies would automatically shut down. By Friday noon only 30 survivors were left; A teacher who had expunged her class of kids turned into living ventriloquist dummies; the fire-chief who had burned down the research lab full of demonic robots; a mother who had slain her family with an axe when she discovered she had raised Satan’s offspring for a demonic cult; a quiet emo kid who survived his classmates being turned into cockroach monsters; the blood-soaked cheerleader squad who survived the attack from their boyfriends turned into raving cannibals. So many people driven insane, living out their private horror movie scenarios, killing their neighbours and their loved ones, so many innocent lives lost. I had witnessed the bulk of the massacre, but I could no longer feel anything, I was numb from the sheer amount of incoming shock data.

On the fifth day, Lady Mastermind looked upon her handiwork; she smirked and lifted her illusions off the survivors’ minds, then she walked out of town. I followed her faithfully, a knot in my gut with every step. I turned to look back to the survivors of Serenity one last time. Realising the terrors they had committed in the name of survival, most had turned their make-shift weapons to themselves, not being able to bear the guilt a moment longer. The others were stunned in place, unable to even compute their situation; all apart from one.

A tall lanky raven-haired woman soaked in the blood of her kids. She was mumbling, “Rosemary’s choice”. Her giggle sent shivers up my spine. Her stare ice cold, she turned the knives in her hands towards the last of the townspeople left standing. Lady Mastermind motioned her towards us.

“We have a winner, pet. The ultimate survivor of the suburban death trap. One more broken soul for my collection. Don’t fall too far behind, Bloody Mary. There’s a new episode of Desperate Housewives on tonight, I wouldn’t want to miss it for the world.”




Round Topic:

Not sure which one I like more here...

Dr. Girlfriend: You should have replaced his blood with acid after this part. The sharks won't touch him now.
The Monarch: Thanks, thanks Dr. Girlfriend. Now you tell me.... LOWER THE GIANT HAIR-DRYER!!!!

or

Number 24: I can't believe that whore stole my Stanza!
Number 21: I can't believe that whore made it through the lake of acid...

One of your minions has proven to be a spy. You've captured an intruder who has broken into your evil lair. An enemy agent has fallen into your trap, and wakes up strapped to a table with all sorts of mean-looking things pointed at him.

Your captured enemy has committed a grievous offense against you in any case, and now he has to die. But how? Super-Villains throughout the year have turned murder into an art form. Sparing no expense, especially when staying theme-appropriate, villains will sometimes devote entire wings of their lair to deathtraps of unimaginable complexity. Others might be a bit more prudent, finding a strange minimalistic beauty in pulling out a gun and ending things right then and there. But where's the fun in that?

In this round, your character has captured an adversary of some sort. The only stipulation as to the identity of your captive is that he may NOT be the character you consider an "arch-enemy". This is someone lower on the totem pole, or possibly a nameless red-shirt, one who if you're successful in killing you won't kill the whole story right then and there. How does your character enact the ultimate punishment upon his captive? Quick and effective, or slow and colorful? Concentrate on the methodology as it reflects your character's psyche. Your character does not necessarily have to be successful in killing his opponent.

Also, considering the potential nightmare fuel that could erupt from this particular topic, PLEASE be mindful of the rules. I don't want the literary equivalent of a snuff film here. Don't go crazy with the gory details if your story comes to that point. If you are at all concerned as to whether or not your story is acceptable, please PM an unedited version to me and I will let you know whether or not it needs to be changed.

Judges, same deal as last time. Once your groups have submitted their entries, nominate two for elimination. We will vote, and say goodbye to the two losers.

Good luck everyone!

Round begins: Friday, April 4th, 12 PM, Eastern Standard Time
Round ends: Monday, April 7th, 12 PM, EST


JUDGE's COMMENT:


This was the perfect prompt for you, I think. It's an interesting spin on the theme, and at first I was doubtful about it's viability but it was just too damn fun to worry about. Lady M throwing a small town into chaos, almost as a sort of vacation is awesome. It read like a horror story, a Battle Royale-reminiscent throwback to the "24 Hours" issue of Sandman. Very cool stuff.
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