Vote for Panel of the Week 10.10.07

Each week I'll be posting the 3-4 most memorable panels from the week and putting them up for a public week-long vote. The winning panels gets posted on the sidebar and earns boasting privileges over lesser panels...

Last week Darth Homer's D'OHHH was heard through space, gathering 52% of your votes!

The week didn't provide too many laughs, apart from the hilariously bad Action Comics and Wolverine. But once more, you are the judge! (Disclaimer: we wouldn't want Master Whedon to be mired because of the company he keeps this week, DHP#3 was excellent as usual)

CoolWebPoll

PANEL ABizarro Panels Always Am Boring (Action Comics #856)

Panel B
Dude, Where's My Earth? (Dark Horse Presents #3)

Panel C
Silent But Deadly (Wolverine #58)

Panel D:
It's funny because it's not, really (Wolverine #58)
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WSAD: The Goonies sequel

WSAD (World Sean Astin Day) continues with news of a sequel to the sexy actor's first famous feature, the Goonies!

“Steven [Spielberg] and Dick [Donner] and all the powers that be … they really feel like the thing that made the movie strong was that it was about kids, so they really want to make the next movie about kids…the next generation of Goonies. And they’ve had a hard time tackling that.”

Like Feldman, Astin sees the passing of the torch concept to be a logical progression for the franchise. “I have three children,” he said, “and Corey’s got a kid now [too]. So as we now all have kids who are coming into the age that we were when we made the movie, it’s more likely to me that they’ll figure out how to design a story that will satisfy the older audience in terms of connecting with the original 1985 Goonies, and then [also] create this new thing.”

The original cast return as grown-ups, passing he torch to their kids, under the same writer and director as the classic feature. I'm still unconvinced. When has this sort of nostalgia+DVD sales sequel notion ever proven succesful? Has Bewitched taught us nothing?
Source: MTV blog
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Speaking of Sean Astin...

I declare today World Sean Astin Day (W-SAD).

How could I have been so blind all these years! I never really made the connection till I wiki'ed him today for the week's O.W. entry.

So, Sean Astin got from this cute 'aww' thing (the Goonies):


to this adorable short-pint mug (Lord of the Rings)


Ok, interesting growth, but still only cute.

Until this:


(adding fuel to my growing belief that everyone looks 10 times hotter in a beard, and that there ought to be a pro-facial hair law protecting against close shaves)

This photo has ignited an intense interest in Mr Astin's 'artistic career' here at LYSAD central. He will heretofore be in such esteemed company, as mr Seth Rogen and mr Ryan Reynolds.

Stay tuned for more as the story develops. Meanwhile:

Sexy beardiness!

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Orange Wednesdays: Sean Astin

The fourth in our regular Wednesday series of specials, starring Sean Astin, of Lord of the Ring(tone)s and Goonies fame.



If you're lucky enough not to live in the UK, you have been deprived of one of the greatest movie theater inventions since buttered pop corn:

the ORANGE FILM FUNDING COMMITTEE short clips.

These are sponsored by the Orange mobile company and feature a different actor every few months trying to pitch their movie idea to the committee, only to have them -- well, you just watch.
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Wolverine #58

Writer: Mark Guggenheim
Artist: Howard Chaykin

Marvel Comics

It's tough to review this issue while adhering to Marvel's no-spoilers rule for advance reviews.

First of all, let's make it clear, this is not a good issue. It's quite ironic as well, since this lukewarm return of Guggenheim on the writing chair was preceded by the greatest Wolverine story in recent memory, Jason Aaron's single issue, which was used as a mere fill-in.

So Wolverine is dead again. Only, not physically dead, just brain-dead. Big change. No fret, Dr Strange is on the case! And boy does Guggenheim manage to make a mess of this guest appearance; he arguably writes the worst Dr Strange in memory, complete with cliched oneliners, bad jokes and stale dialogue, especially during the meeting with Tony Stark. I've included several examples to prove my case.




Dr Strange meets the (brain)dead Logan in the afterlife bar, and shares a few drinks while drowing their sorrows in exposition. Strange reveals why Logan is able to stay alive after so many brushes with death (the most blatant being during Guggenheim's last stint on the title), and what changed now to make him a vegetable. I found the former (main) explanation completely superfluous, relating to a random battle Wolvie won back in WW1 against a surprise opponent. The latter reason for falling in the veggie state was equally unconvincing; it more or less hangs on the thin thread of believing Atlantean whatshername chick who was introduced (and killed) last issue made such an impact on Logan (more so than, say, Jean Grey, Silver Fox or Mariko, who he had each known for years) that his grief kept him from jumping back to life again.


There is strong competition for worst issue of the week, but at least Wolverine has gorgeous Howard Chaykin art going for it, along with several scenes of gratuitous full Logan nudity.

4/10



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Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Man #24

Writer: J. M. Straczynski
Artist: Joe Quesada

Marvel Comics

Aunt May is dying. Peter has heard the bad news that science can't do anything to save her life, but he's not willing to let go, instead turning to the metaphysical for answers. Peter knocks on Dr Strange's door for answers, but he won't like what he finds out and his desperation will lead him to an ill-advised time-travelling jump tying into an earlier cryptic scene in JMS' run.

Color me impressed. JMS had the whole thing planned for over 6 years before?

All in all, One More Day, despite expectations, doesn't suck! Spider-man's desperation is now tangible and his actions have a real emotional resonance. Better late than never.

Joe Quesada is making his big artistic come back with tihs storyline, and also deserves praise. First, for the amazing quality of the layouts and panel arrangements. Secondly for beating his track record and delivering the issues on time!

The back of the issue reprints MJ's origin along with a very detailed Handbook profile, trying to compromise the actual continuity with the various retcons throughout the years like MJ always knowing Spidey's identity, and Gwen's secret pregnancy.

7/10



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New Avengers #35

Writer: Brian Bendis
Artist: Leinil Yu

Marvel Comics

Disclaimer: the ultra-cool bad-ass alien Venom Symbiote Wolverine figure from the cover does NOT appear in the actual issue. Please kindly wait four months until Mighty Avengers catches up on the shedule.

What does happen in this issue?

The Hood finally makes his bid for the control of the NY crime underground, getting all the super-baddies together and unveiling his grand plan. Bendis has thought things through here, presenting something as preposterous as Hood becoming the new Kingpin as actually realistic. Leinil Yu impresses with his camera-action and sense of space, moving around the table following the Hood as he speaks to the gathered super-villains.

My complaints source from the shortcuts he takes to achieve it, namely using Tigra as the Hood's punching bag to up his bad-@$$ness ratings. Sure, he could beat this former Avenger, but would she really be so helpless that she wouldn't land a single claw on him; then, would a trained and tested Avenger really whimper weakly like that, and practically beg for her life?

Pathetic.

Just when I was this close to saying a good word about the disastrous New Avengers line. Better luck next month.

5/10


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New Warriors v.2 #5

Writer: Kevin Grevioux
Artist: Paco Medina

Marvel Comics

So the new New Warriors are really M-Day depowered mutant survivors donning tech-suits and new identities to stick it up to the Big Man Tony Stark. That's fine and dandy, but Kevin Grevioux is missing the point when he's dragging the revelation of the secret identities and the team's origins so far.

It's issue 5 now, one of the Warriors has just died, and I couldn't honestly even remember who she is or why I'm expected to care. At this point I don't even remember how many members they actually have, what anyone's name is or their powers.

They can't be very impressive anyhow, since they fail to fight off the Zodiac, but instead sit back and lick their wounds while a depowered ex-mutant waitress goes in alone against them. Death wish, anyone?

Paco Medina's art work is always well-suited for teen adventure books, although it clashes when the writer decides to take a sudden left into grim, bloody and gritty. I also have serious objections towards his rendition of former Morrison New X-Men graduates Beak and Angel, who became such darlings partly because of their average everyday looks and attitudes; now Beak is a muscle-bound idiot on mechanical wings, and Angel is a slim-waisted big-boobed teen bimbo instead of the chubby-assed trailer park trash we learned to love. I'm still waiting on an explanation as to why they would take up this cause when they have 5-7 young babies to raise at home, and noone to babysit for them.

As for the grade, this is probably the lowest I have gone in the last year. Bravo.

(Now please please please cancel this atrocity and erase it from continuity)

1.5/10

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Fantastic Four #550

Writer: Dwayne McDuffie
Artist: Paul Pelletier

Marvel Comics

The stakes just went from cosmic to ridiculous. The Fantastic Six (Ben, Johhny, Sue, Reed, Storm and Black Panther) are in space, running from someone towards something while fixing a whatsit. Pure cosmic adrenaline rush. Then, they start calling in their guest-stars, as no less than FOUR more Marvel Heroes are called in to help them, lest Eternity is doomed!

Yeah, the stakes are huge, on paper at least.

Unfortunately, McDuffie's script is so super-condensed that it doesn't let the plot breathe and the true scope of what is at stake isn't felt by the reader. McDuffie is obviously so excited to get a short chance at the World's Greatest Comics Magazine (TM) (before Millar/Hitch arrive), that he's willing to get out every FF story he's got in the back of his mind, while he has the chance. In the meantime, he might as well also feature every one of his favourite pet characters, like Deathlok and the now infamous Gravity. Slow down, catch your breath, mate!

Paul Pelletier has slowly climbed up the ladder to one of Marvel's worthiest artists, developing a meatier style which suits the heroic material more. I hope he moves to a similarly high-profile project next.

5/10

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Are You Mr. Guy DeBord?

(Source: Caballos Peligrosos)
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Casanova #1 and #8 for FREE!

Are you one of those cheap bastards who won't shell out $1.99 (seriously, under 2 bucks! Why are you being miserable) to read one of the 3 best comics out there!

Please, say it isn't so!

Well, Image Comics are being super nice so they're now offering not one, but TWO (count it), two ways for you to get addicted to this crack.

CASANOVA #1 By Matt Fraction and Gabriel Ba is available as an online comic on Image Comics' homepage

and now MySpace is offering the complete CASANOVA #8 issue for a download as a .CBR file (isn't that kinda 'extra cherry on top' cool?). Issue 8 kicks off the 'second season' of the title with new artist Fabio Moon and a perfect jumping-on point for new readers.

(Don't forget to also check out my review of #9 here)
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Buffy Season 8 #7

Part two of 'No Future For You', the third 'episode' of Season 8, drawn by Georges Jeanty and written by BKV.

Where BKV apparently now stands for Buffy Kills Vampires! (Someone tell Brian!)

Since we last saw Buffy on TV, the world has just gone a bit more Slayer-ful, as hundreds (thousands?) of potential slayers have been leveled-up into full stabbity mode. Now Buffy and the Scooby Faculty have set up Slayer High atop a mouldy castle enrolling and training the Girl-Wonders in the ways of Stab-Fu.

But, back-track a bit (say that a few times over, fast, and see what you end up with)

Why did everyone just assume all the new slayerettes are cute and cuddly? We've seen in the past what a headache a Slayer turned bad can prove to be. When freshly-activated Slayer GiGi turns out to be a bad egg, Giles thinks of that old saying 'Takes one to know/catch one' and calls in the last known homicidal Slayer, the now-reformed Faith. The catch? Gigi's full name is Lady Geneviene Savidge, a spoiled British aristocrat with a hobby of using other slayers as game for her hunting expeditions. Faith will need to step up in society before she can stoop down to murder this new threat. If someone doesn't run off with a "The Princess' Slayer Diaries" pun soon, I'll be a very frustrated geek! (yes, that's a three-in-one pun, collect them all for the grand prize)

Jeanty is probably fake-casting Gigi after some young actress or another as she has the same almost-photoboxed quality about her like the rest of the cast. If this was the actual TV show 8th season back in the 2003-2004 season, I'd have cast a still young Fairuza Balk in the role. Other suggestions? (leave a comment! Me loves 'em). Meanwhile, Faith is a dead ringer, his Dawn has improved, but poor Willow remains trapped in chubby-face Amish hell.

Last issue impressed me with the trueness of the characters' voices; this issue has less of the chatty chatty and more of the internal monologue with a side dish of stone gargoyle kicking action, Alias-styling masquerades and flashback doozies. Step-by-step:


We open up with a look back on the decidedly wicked Slayer-on-Slayer action from episode 3x21 (Graduation Day Part One), this time told from a Faith's-eye-view. These 2 1/2 pages are deceptively laconic, much like most of BKV's work; pause a moment, take into account the events of Season 3 from Faith's POV, go back and reread and these short 'three steps' will reveal quite the treasure. (Long cheat sheet: Remember, Faith was blissfully unaware of the problems she was facing throughout season 3; in her mind she was just having fun and making friends. She was especially pleased to have found Buffy, a kindred spirit who could understand her problems; she used every opportunity available to girl-bond with B, constantly unloading her problems, hoping for B to reciprocate and share a moment. The Buffster though, had a different coping mechanism: an introvert to F's extrovert; every time F tried to get closer, B would clam up even more, reveal only a bit of her enormous Angel issues at the time, and push her away. In the end she of course pushes her a bit too far for comfort, leading to the classic 'you're about to get it back' moment. B and F (i love this first letter game, saves up space that I can then waste in meaningless parentheses) may have kissed and made better in season 7, but that's just an uneasy truce for Faith, since she still remembers Buffy's 'betrayal'.

And now, in true poetic fashion, she's called in to do the same with Gigi. After her infiltration of the gala succeeds (more Veronica Mars than Alias in her subterfuge here), she comes close to Gigi, but freezes, leading to uncomfortable balcony chatter over fags (that's cigarettes for you Queen-challenged folk) ; now Gigi thinks she has a new friend to confide in, while Faith is the one with the uneasy feelings.

Buffy doesn't make an actual present-day appearance in the issue, but we're not bereft of the obligatory cut-away 'what are those wacky Scooby kids up to' scene. Dawn is still experiencing a growth spurt and fending off the birds-and-bees talk from Willow as they muse about sex, boys and reveal the dirty mystery behind Dawn's wardrobe changes (hint: there aren't any! eww). Whedon and co take good advantage of the main benefit of comics versus TV: no budgetary FX constraints! Why not have Dawn be 30-ft tall for the entire season? Why shouldn't Willow be able to fly around every issue? And wouldn't it be cool if Faith squared off mid-air against two giant stone gargoyles? (what, did I forget to mention that in the plot summary? oops!)


Jumping mediums may just turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to the Buffy franchise!

Grade: 7.5/10
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Have I ga-ga'd over The Order enough yet?

Solicitation copy for The Order #3:

THE STORY:
You are a member of the Order. You've been given extraordinary powers and a mandate to save the world. You've got one year. What do you do? "Calamity" James Wa was a baseball player with his whole future bright and perfect in front of him, when a drunk driver took it all away. What does HE do with extraordinary powers and a mandate to save the world? He goes looking for a little payback. Also: They're half zombie! Half hobo! ALL TERROR! The ZOBOS run roughshod on Rodeo Drive! Celebutantes and debutards beware–Botox is like ketchup to these flesh-eating, homeless weirdos, and they find your waxed and tanned skin DELICIOUS! Somebody call THE ORDER!

Seriously, who writes this stuff? Warren Simons, is it you? This is brilliant!
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Tori Amos covers Smells Like Teen Spirit

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That Cute Thing

And all the (fan)boys go 'Awww'

(Courtesy of GayGamer)
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Bart Simpson's Treehouse of Horror #13

BART SIMPSON'S TREEHOUSE OF HORROR #13

Anthology

Bongo Comics


Halloween.

It's that time of the year again. Kids start preparing their costumes, neighbours stack up on candy, Steve Niles is in a cheery mood and B-horror movies are suddenly cool again (but did they ever really stop?)

It's also time for Bongo Comics' traditional Treehouse of Horror anthology. I approach these books with the thought 'if you're only going to buy one Simpsons comic this year, this is the one you really want'. Because, you know, i do only buy one a year, and this is the one.

ToH stands out from the rest of the Bongo line, not just because of the horror theme (which honestly, leaves me cold at this point), but due to the amount of diverse talent it attracts from mainstream writers, and artists not normally associated with the franchise and the creative liberty they're allowed. In Halloween, anything goes, and these creators aren't forced to follow any style guides; instead, they're given free reign to reinterpret the Springfield population in their own artistic voice.

This year's stories in brief:

1. GNAWS

Writers: Brian Posehn, Gerry Duggan

Artist: Hilary Barta


The star of Mr Show writes the Simpsons take on Jaws, with the town terrorised by the gnashing and mashing horror antiques of a giant three-eyed fish monster. Classy and classic. Hilary Barta wows and dazzles on the art, picking up the traditional style guides and making sweet love to them with his trademark heavy inks and textured finished look (did that sound dirty? yum). The panels are all filled to the brim with secondary characters and little hidden gags, you'll still be picking up new stuff by the third time you're reading the issue.

7.5/10

2. THEY DRAW

Writer: Patton Oswalt
Artist: Jason Ho w. Mike Rote

The comedian and voice actor behind the uber-successful Ratatouille gives his best shot on this love song to the Simpsons' supporting characters, as Lenny discovers a discarded pair of magic sunglasses which allow him to see 'under the ink & color', at the raw pencil and breakdown stages of the comic book, complete with writer's guidelines on the characters scribbled around the pencil figures. How does a B-rate supporting character in a comic react when he discovers he is a B-rate supporting character, while the blubbering factory idiot picking his nose in the corner is the real star of the show?

The premise is strong and potentially brilliant, but Oswalt shows his complete lack of experience as a comic book writer in the execution; the pacing suffers as the team goes for comedic effect but misses its timing in every single beat. I'm hoping someone else picks up on this day and produces a full length issue. Mr Morrison sir?

4/10

3. PROP, PROP, WHIZ, WHIZ

Writer: Ian Boothby & Pia Guerra
Artist: Pia Guerra w. Terry Austin

The husband-wife creative team of Boothby and Guerra provide the big hit of the issue. Boothby is of course the monthly writer of most of Bongo's line, while Guerra has made a name for herself co-creating Y THE LAST MAN for Vertigo. Here unfortunately she doesn't stray too far from the style sheets, but her talent still shines through on the pacing and panel setups.

Comic Book Guy has lucked down on a collection of cursed movie props through an eBuy auction; anyone who touches the props gets transported and trapped into the movie they came from. Yup, just a cheesy set-up plot to allow a hilarious string of movie parodies starring the Simpsons family, one of the show's greatest strengths.


See Groundskeeper Willy in X-Men, Krusty the clown in Jurrasic Park, Moe's bar patrons as the Ghostbusters. And that's all in three panels, before the real fun begins:

Lisa gets drafted as the newest Vampire Slayer, enjoying the attentions of a simpsonized Sunnydale. Bart swaps yellow paw for chainsaw in Evil Dead. And for the piece de resistance, Homer follows in the footsteps ofAnakin Skywalker through Star Wars Episode III to become Darth Vader! (Check this week's Darth Homer Panel of the Week voting for more fun)

8/10

4. THE PYGMY ELIXIR

Writer: Thomas Lennon
Artist: Tone Rodriguez w. Andrew Pepoy

Thomas Lennon is the genius behind such movie classics like Herbie fully loaded, the american Taxi adaptation, the Pacifier and Night At the Museum (insert "-sic-" where appropriate). Imagine my lack of surprise at his credits list after finishing this disappointing story. Mr Burns enlists Bart Simpson for a trip to the Amazon to retrieve the Pygmy Elixir of youth. Not much in the way of funny apart from a couple of slapstick gags. Tone Rodriguez is an unknown to me, but he impresses with his take on the demented Savage Bart-clone Pygmies and his daring layouts.

5/10


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