The U.S. Navy versus the Spaniards

REAL CONVERSATION ENGRAVING OF THE FREQUENCY OF MARITIME EMERGENCY CHANNEL 106, IN THE COAST OF FINISTERRA (GALICIA), BETWEEN SPANIARDS AND AMERICAN, IN OCTOBER 16th OF 1997

Spanish: ... This the TO-853, please deviate your course fifteen south degrees to avoid collision with us.. You approach direct toward us, distance 25 nautical miles.

American: ... We recommend that you deviate your course fifteen north degrees to avoid collision.

Spanish: Negative. We repeat, please deviate their course fifteen south degrees to avoid collision.

American: (another American voice) You're speaking to the Captain of a ship of the United States of America. We insist, deviate your course fifteen north degrees to avoid collision.

Spanish: We consider your suggestion neither feasible nor convenient, we suggest that you deviate your course fifteen south degrees to avoid to collide with us.

American: (very hot) YOU ARE SPEAKING TO CAPTAIN RICHARD JAMES HOWARD, COMMANDER OF THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, OF THE NAVY OF THE E.E.U.U., THE SECOND LARGER SHIP OF WAR OF THE AMERICAN FLEET. WE ARE ESCORTED BY TWO BATTLESHIPS, SIX DESTROYERS, FIVE CRUISERS, FOUR SUBMARINES AND NUMEROUS EMBARKATIONS OF SUPPORT. WE ARE DIRECTED TOWARDS THE WATER OF THE PERSIAN GULF TO PREPARE MILITARY MANEUVERS BEFORE AN EVENTUAL OFFENSIVE OF IRAQ. I DO NOT SUGGEST. I ORDER YOU TO DEVIATE YOUR COURSE FIFTEEN NORTH DEGREES! !!!! OTHERWISE WE WILL BE OBLIGED TO TAKE THE MEASURES THAT BE NECESSARY TO GUARANTEE THE SECURITY OF THIS SHIP AND OF THE FORCE OF THIS COALITION. YOU BELONG TO AN ALLIED COUNTRY, MEMBER OF THE NATO AND OF THIS COALITION.. PLEASE, OBEY IMMEDIATELY AND REMOVE YOURSELVES FROM OUR PATH! !!!!

Spanish: You are speaking to Juan Manuel Rooms Alcбntara. We are two people. We are escorted by our dog, our food, two beers and a canary that now this sleeping. We have the support of Chain Dial of The Coruсa and the channel 106 of maritime emergency. We can direct to no side since we speak firmly from land, we are in the lighthouse TO-853 Finisterra, off the coast of Galicia. We do not have any idea in which place we are in the ranking of Spanish lighthouses. You can take all the f***ing measures that you consider opportune to guarantee the security of your f***ng ship, which-I repeat- is headed straight towards our rocky shores. But we still insist and we suggest that the best, healthy and more recommendable solution is that you deviate your course fifteen south degrees to avoid collision....!!!!

American: ok, understood, thanks.